Settling In...

We are settling in after our big move. London loves feeding the turkeys, chickens and "roadrunners" (as he likes to call them.) We had our first snow down here and London and I built a snowman together. It was a lot of fun. We took pictures of his "Frosty the Snowman" and it turned out really cute.

We attended a candle-light service on Christmas eve at a local church. London sang his little heart out and he loved holding his candle.

London enjoyed his Christmas presents. Mike and I didn't even open our presents until 7pm Christmas night. It just didn't feel like Christmas and we just weren't in the Christmas mood. We tried to be in the Christmas spirit for London though, regardless how we were feeling.

My mom and I have been talking via the telephone. She apologized to me the night we moved away which is huge for her - she's part of the parenting group who thinks they need not admit fault for anything they've done or haven't done. I hope to never be that type of parent. It's like getting to know each other all over again but part of me will always be cautious with her.

My Dad has started his drinking again. I don't mind people who drink occasionally and stay coherent and somewhat sober. But, if the drinker is going to be belligerent, sneaky, self-centered, and unpredictable I don't want to be around them - nor do I want my child around them. Alcoholism is one of the most selfish addictions. The drinker doesn't care about providing for their family, or holding down a job. They expect to be doted on and treated like royalty while causing their family nothing but sorrow and grief. And, what about all of the times that the drinker drives intoxicated with their family in the vehicle with them? They don't care if they hurt or maim or kill their family members or anyone else on the road. All they think about is their next drink and who they're going to take it out on when things don't go their way. I don't think highly of people who drink just for the fun of causing their family sorrow and grief, and I don't think highly of all of the enablers who probably clean up the mess the next day from their hangovers and who sweep it all under the carpet for fear of 'rocking the boat'. Mike and I have attended enough Al-Anon meetings to know what enablers should and should not do. I'm going to rock the boat and I don't care who gets mad at me for writing this. I'm done with trying to live my life to please everyone else.

I have my appt. tomorrow to start my genetic testing and hopefully find some answers as to why I keep having miscarriages. I'm a little nervous and scared to find out if something is wrong with me.


Will write more later on another day. Ta ta for now.

Heartbreak

I was scared and excited with a positive pregnancy test.
I was careful not to lift anything and ate only the best.
Imagine my shock and sadness to learn that you couldn't stay.
You had to leave and in doing so my hopes and dreams thrown away.
I held you in my hand, inspecting you with sadness and awe.
Heartbroken you were no longer in my tummy and at what I saw.
I'm not sure if I'll fully recover or if I'll try for another baby or not.
Because maybe I'm only supposed to be happy with the baby that I've got.


T.S.R. 2007

A New Baby on the Way...

Yep, you heard it here first. We're going to have another baby! We're very excited, yet nervous....but very happy! We're due in late spring. So....in addition to moving we will be having an addition to the family! London is thrilled! Talk more later!

Helloooo? Is anybody there?.....

Just a little update......trying to stay warm with this crazy weather! Work is going really well. I like my job and enjoy taking pride in what I do. I only work with one other gal so we don't have the little back-biting catfights, and favoritism amongst other employees that is so prevalent in other workplaces. I'm content where I am and I can honestly say that I will never again return to the optical field. I'm done with it, especially after the experience I just went through over the summer. The money can be great working in that career, but it just depends on who has to be your boss. So, that's my life in a small nutshell! Ta ta for now!

Hello from my cave......

I certainly feel as though I've been transported back to the days where there were no telephones, computers, etc......
As most of you know we no longer have our telephone service or internet. It's sad, I know.....but, there are life lessons to be learned in everything that happens. The biggest thing is that we have learned that we can live without computers, TV, etc....I do have a cell phone that I reactivated - but it's only for emergencies and so my job can get in touch with me. London and I spend more time playing together without the added distractions of technology. In some ways I don't miss my telephone at all.
We have some things in the works which I've sent emails out to those of you who I remembered email addresses.
Just wanted to update and let you know I haven't fallen off the planet just yet!
Take care!

Our Day at the Beach!

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

Anybody Got a Camera?...

London posing on the beach. He's such a ham and likes to pose! We had a nice time that day and made more memories together! Such fun!

Smile and Say Cheese...

A day at the beach always makes me.....happy! The water lapping the shore, the cool summer breeze, birds calling out to each other.....it's just magnificent and I get the opportunity to share in all of it.
Truly my happiness.....a happy, healthy child....a marriage that we're working on and making progress....a new job for myself....and a day at the ocean.

Happy 4th Birthday, London!!!

Our Birthday Boy sure had a great time at his party! You only turn 4 once, and he had a blast!

I'm the Birthday Boy!

London's 4th birthday was on Saturday. We had a big party for him with cake, ice cream and TONS of presents! He had a great time.......some people say he's spoiled, but I say he's just really, really loved!!!

Always thinking...

My little man is so photogenic! He cracks me up! I just love taking pictures of him doing the goofiest things! What memories we are making together!

By the Seashore...

My most favorite spot in the whole world! My own little "Cabot Cove" just brings me so much happiness. I've loved this place ever since I was a little girl. It's a very small town, if you blink you will miss it - but it's so quaint and....lovely! My little haven.

Smile A While...

I can't believe some of the cute faces London makes at the camera! He's just downright adorable and an absolute ham! He had such a good time at Fort Flagler and loves the beach!

Fort Flagler State Park...

We had a nice time for our anniversary trip. It's always nice to get away from reality for a while and play tourist! This deer was so pretty just sitting by the side of the road just waiting for me to take a picture. I love deer - even after I hit one with my car (it ran out in front of me) 3 years ago I still love them. They are very pretty creatures. I wish we were still on vacation.....but we have to come back to reality at some point!

Self Reflection...

I've been seriously having some moments of self reflection....am I good mother, wife...fill in the blank. I've decided to have some photos taken of myself and then scrapbook them into my little self reflection collage of pages. Maybe it's a little vain of me to do so....but I thought it would be good scrapbook material.

Find me buried treasure, aye.......

London and Jili went on a treasure hunt in Uncle Jim's backyard! What fun! Their "loot" consisted of candy, and toys in a tin container buried in a hole - oh, to be a kid again! They had such fun together those two!

London and Jili...

This is only the 2nd time that London has met his cousin Jilienne. They quickly bonded with each other though and had a great time together. London calls her "my Jili" - he's very smitten by his cousin! I'm glad they had such a great time and look forward to the next time they are able to see each other.

OMG......My New Toy!

I just cannot believe it! My Uncle gave us this new laptop and I still cannot believe it! I've wanted one of these for ages! He said it was a belated wedding present - yeah, try 15 years belatd! (My hubby and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary in a few days!) So, I know it's probably ridiculous......but I just HAD to scrapbook it and share on my blog! What a silly-silly am I?

Grandparent Means Love...

We went to see my Dad a couple of days ago.....I just love visiting with my Dad. Especially now that he's not an alcoholic - our visits are much more enjoyable. And oh my gosh.....how he loves being a Grandpa! He loves London like you wouldn't believe! London is finally getting comfortable around "his Papa" (as he calls him) and sat on Papa's lap and gave lovies (hugs). What treasured memories to have of the two of them together. I took other pictures too but will have to scrapbook them later. We've had a whirlwind of company come into town and I've not had a moment to hardly do anything at home - between going down to my Dad's and visiting with company. We've just been very busy! But, I'm thankful to be able to see my family - especially when I don't get the opportunity to see them in person very often. Sure, I can talk on the phone but it just isn't the same. My family is pretty special and I love them very much....

Our little man...

What a cute pose! He loves his swimming pool and gets in it as often as possible! I can't believe how much he's grown. My little cutie!